Sometimes there can be so much in a simple Hi….But not like Hi, hello.
Like Hi… wow its you, I can’t believe its you.
Like Hi… seeing you takes my breath away…
Like Hi… the very sight of you gives me butterflies..
Like Hi….are you for real?
Like Hi… your energy sets me on fire…
Like Hi… I am you and you are me and YOU just know.
Have you ever had this kind of Hi?
My hard drive crashed
500 Gigs of pictures, music, videos, files, memories, I don’t even know all of what I lost. It stopped me in my tracks and in the silence of my anger and frustration, I realized not only did my external hard drive crash, but long before so to did my internal hard drive also go kaput! I live in this world on automatic pilot, days, months, years pass, and nothing is better …or worse… nothing is changing. Perhaps I had to lose everything to find everything… to find where I’m going next, who should be apart of my journey, and how to keep the “junk” of my new clean drive. Perhaps the crash is really a blessing in disguise.
-Change your thoughts, Change you life!
Depression is NOT a bad day.
It is that dark vail that wraps you in its throw and won’t let you go,
it is that deep heavy feeling that prevents you from getting up or getting out.
It Is the inspiration of lethargy and hopelessness.
Its far worse than a bad day.
EmotionLESS…
That’s what they call me..
Well THEY can’t truly know me
I am anything but emotionLESS,
I feel to a fault … or perhaps stagnation would be a better word.
I feel to the point of doing nothing. So much that I am crippled by the very emotion THEY think I don’t have.
Hows that for being emotionLESS?
My leg in between yours creating that throbbing heat that ignites a passionate innate omnipotent sense of intrigue -and though I’ve been here before the journey is always breath taking….other worldly.
I work for every moan I strive for the sweat that pools on your back and the never ending silky wet end result. Maybe it was just a thought but I felt u this morning. It was some kind of wonderful.
… I woke up like this.
Find the people who have ur same rhythm if they don’t and u r with them they will seem abusive. -unknown
My heart aches even though I’m not certain what that really feels like
There’s a pressure, a tightness, a just don’t feel right with every breath
I know something is not wrong
Panick stricken with the fear that this is nothing at all but a fleeting emotion
That has crippled me with the inability to move … Forward, I am trapped I am stuck
In this frame of thought wishing I could make it stop, stop…. Stop. Fuck!
But my effort is a waste b/c sometimes things just are … you know? it is what is
You gotta sit and watch it play out and almost not give a shit
I can cry, I can kick, I could scream, or I could just sit here peace
And let go in what simply is me … Knowing this to shall pass and set me free
I under stand the romance with not wanting to be here
The allure of not having to deal with life “as is”
Dark place Dark space Let me out And stop ur chase It’s almost like I cannot breath With all the shit inside of me Paralyzed I fear I’m trapped And there is no key or google map To get me out of my dungeon mind I’m lost and scared all the time and those who dare to get so close take heed it takes more than most for something in me won’t let go and flow — easy to love and hard to keep is it because Im not deserving? Who would want to love the dark? Who would want to get lost and get marked? In the wake of all my mangled loves it seems I continue to just fuck it up. what’s wrong with me I wonder too perhaps I’m just a dark fool!
Many have tried to conquer the mountain of loving me, but with high elevations and rough weather conditions, even the most avid lover can not scale to the top. She is always turned away at the icy cold pass, better known as the door way to my heart. The sweetest cries of “let me in, let me love you”, whistle thru my canyons only to fall on the peaks and valleys of my ego, my fear, my belief that this thing called “being in love” does not really exist.
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